I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
