office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
