if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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