they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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