My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
organizing the empties. That sober.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
being pregnant is like rehab
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
