drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
