I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
