Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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