Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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