he shaved USA in his pubs
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize