Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize