I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
