For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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