There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
