i would punch a child for taco bell
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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