So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
