I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
