Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
