I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
