I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize