You're a womanizer and a bitch.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
PANTIES FOUND
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