I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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