She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Panties = found
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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