Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
