What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
His nipple licking is glorious
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
