I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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