what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
