Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
