Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
how does that bad decision feel?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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