Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
