I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
