Porn is love you can see.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
