How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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