To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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