4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
