her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
