He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
