I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
