Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
