I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
