I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
