I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
