It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You have to summon your inner elephant
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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