i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
