So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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