Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Randomize
