What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize