Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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