I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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