Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
