he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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