I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
