Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
