doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Randomize
