Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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