I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
