I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
