come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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