Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
