Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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