i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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