Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
